Ok, I will admit it, I have been in a funk. This is getting hard and uncomfortable and I am starting to get whiny. One friend I talked to said that she guessed it was like running a marathon and I am getting to the point where people "hit the wall," before the end but after they have been going for a while. I like that because lots of people push through and finish marathons, so I can push through too!
There is really good news though. It is 2011 and I am still pregnant. That is amazing. It was a huge goal for me and we have made it. I had a doctors appointment on Monday and he is so excited that we are 29 weeks and a few days. He really feels like no matter when the babies are born there will be a good outcome and we are going to take babies home. He does really want me to hang on for another month so we can have and keep the babies at the hospital here and not have to go an hour to the level 3 NICU. I am hoping for that too. The babies look great and are getting big. Baby A is 2lbs 13oz and Baby B is 2lbs 14oz. All the egg nog I drank during the holidays helped I think.
2010 would not leave without making a statement. I felt like it was taunting me, saying "I know you want me to leave, but I am not done with you yet!" New Year's Eve brought horrible storms, lots of lightning and thunder, and power outages for hours. During one of the violent weather cells one of the trees in our front yard got struck by lightning! I have never been that close to a lightning strike. The whole house lit up and shook. Now our tree has a strip all the way down one side where the bark was forced off.
The beginning of 2011 has also brought the realization that I need to get organized and more prepared. I now have a list of lists I need to make, such as "things to pack for the hospital," "meals to make and freeze," "things needed for sleeping or diapering or feeding, ect" and more. It is a start!
Showing posts with label Confession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confession. Show all posts
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Monday, August 23, 2010
Confession... I have been avoiding my blog
It is true, in the last few weeks I have not been diligent about posting here.
It is not because I am not enjoying blogging, I am. I like the idea of having an outlet to express myself and share what is going on with me to others. I also like the connections that I have been making to others who also blog.
It is not because I don't have a lot to write about, I do. I would like to share about my trip in April to see my parents and go to a wedding in San Francisco, the memorial for my daughters, a disastrous yet fun camping trip, how the settling-in process is going for our house, what projects we would like to do to it, what quilting things that I have been working on lately, a huge decision that my husband and I made last month, and other things that I have floating around in my head.
It is because I have been going through a huge life change and chosen not to write about it on my blog until now.
I am pregnant. With twins. Again.
I think that I have been (and probably still am) in denial about this. Not that I am unhappy about this or don't want it, but that I still can't quite believe it. There are so many mixed emotions involved with pregnancy after loss, and it is very overwhelming. By putting it on my blog, it is helping to make it real. In sharing this with you, I am acknowledging that this is a huge, important thing that is going on in my life, and I need help and support through this. I have thought a lot about whether I want to make a separate blog about this pregnancy, but have decided that I think I am just going to put everything onto this blog. I definitely want to be able to look on the bright side during this and feel like posting about my life, this included, will be a good way to process and de-stress. I will leave with a photo of me from yesterday before church, 10 weeks pregnant.
It is not because I am not enjoying blogging, I am. I like the idea of having an outlet to express myself and share what is going on with me to others. I also like the connections that I have been making to others who also blog.
It is not because I don't have a lot to write about, I do. I would like to share about my trip in April to see my parents and go to a wedding in San Francisco, the memorial for my daughters, a disastrous yet fun camping trip, how the settling-in process is going for our house, what projects we would like to do to it, what quilting things that I have been working on lately, a huge decision that my husband and I made last month, and other things that I have floating around in my head.
It is because I have been going through a huge life change and chosen not to write about it on my blog until now.
I am pregnant. With twins. Again.
I think that I have been (and probably still am) in denial about this. Not that I am unhappy about this or don't want it, but that I still can't quite believe it. There are so many mixed emotions involved with pregnancy after loss, and it is very overwhelming. By putting it on my blog, it is helping to make it real. In sharing this with you, I am acknowledging that this is a huge, important thing that is going on in my life, and I need help and support through this. I have thought a lot about whether I want to make a separate blog about this pregnancy, but have decided that I think I am just going to put everything onto this blog. I definitely want to be able to look on the bright side during this and feel like posting about my life, this included, will be a good way to process and de-stress. I will leave with a photo of me from yesterday before church, 10 weeks pregnant.
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