11 Weeks with Muppets

I am now 11 weeks pregnant.  I had another doctors appointment today.  I have been going every two weeks, but from now I will be going about once a week.  I think that will really help with my fears and anxiety.  Just as I start to really let thoughts get out of control, I can go and have the doctor reassure me.

We got to see both babies and hear their strong and fast heart beats.  Even at 11 weeks we could see a distinct profile of one of the babies.  That is so amazing to me.  Everybody is doing well and the doctor was very patient and answered my long list of questions and concerns.  Next week we have an appointment with a maternal/fetal medicine doctor.  I am looking forward to this appointment to get a second opinion on my doctor's treatment plan and hear the specialist's thoughts about everything.  It should be very informational.

I am so thankful that so far that things are going so well and the babies are healthy and growing well.

I will leave this post with something that really made me smile and that I secretly wish I was brave enough to wear.

                               It is a muppet dress!!  :) Picture from here

Looking for Suggestions for Relaxing

I am in a pretty anxious place right now.  I can not seem to get past what happened in my last pregnancy.  I can not imagine actually birthing healthy babies or taking them home from the hospital.  I am so scared about losing these babies too and the fact that I can not control the outcome.  Because of all of this I am very tense and need to find a way to relax and lose this tension.  I have ordered a couple of relaxation CD's from Amazon and am looking forward to trying them.  I will post a review once I have received and tried them.

Covers for the CD's I am going to try.  Images from here.

I am wondering if anyone has any tips or suggestions of things that have worked for you when you are feeling stressed and anxious.  I feel stuck here in these negative thoughts and hope that getting some other ideas will really help. 

Confession... I have been avoiding my blog

It is true, in the last few weeks I have not been diligent about posting here. 

It is not because I am not enjoying blogging, I am.  I like the idea of having an outlet to express myself and share what is going on with me to others.  I also like the connections that I have been making to others who also blog.

It is not because I don't have a lot to write about, I do.  I would like to share about my trip in April to see my parents and go to a wedding in San Francisco, the memorial for my daughters, a disastrous yet fun camping trip, how the settling-in process is going for our house, what projects we would like to do to it, what quilting things that I have been working on lately, a huge decision that my husband and I made last month, and other things that I have floating around in my head.

It is because I have been going through a huge life change and chosen not to write about it on my blog until now. 

I am pregnant.  With twins.  Again.

I think that I have been (and probably still am) in denial about this.  Not that I am unhappy about this or don't want it, but that I still can't quite believe it.  There are so many mixed emotions involved with pregnancy after loss, and it is very overwhelming.  By putting it on my blog, it is helping to make it real.  In sharing this with you, I am acknowledging that this is a huge, important thing that is going on in my life, and I need help and support through this.  I have thought a lot about whether I want to make a separate blog about this pregnancy, but have decided that I think I am just going to put everything onto this blog.  I definitely want to be able to look on the bright side during this and feel like posting about my life, this included, will be a good way to process and de-stress.  I will leave with a photo of me from yesterday before church, 10 weeks pregnant.

I am so thankful for...

my in-laws.  Two weeks ago they drove down from Missouri for a whole week just to help us move.  They helped with everything: packing, loading, driving, cleaning, unloading, and some unpacking.  It was really incredible, and I know things would not have gone nearly as smoothly without them.  The biggest thing that I take away from having them come help us, besides the joy of being in our own home, is the love that they showed us by helping us with this.  Thank you!

Enjoying brownies after our first meal in the new house.

The View from my Kitchen Window

One of the reasons that we chose to purchase this house is the kitchen.  It is fairly big, bright, and has lots of room for all of my kitchen things.  A favorite thing of mine though, is the view from the window above the sink.  It looks out on our brick patio and lots of bright green trees.  It really beats my last view from my kitchen sink at the apartment.  It just looked out onto our dining room.  Having something beautiful to look at really makes doing the dishes more pleasant.

We are in!!

We are finally in our new house!  We moved last week with the help of my husband's parents.

Here is the front.

This is the view from the front door.

These surprise lilies bloomed while we were moving in.

Here is my husband cleaning the cabinets the first night at the new house.

Here is what the kitchen looks like now that we are a little more settled.

And one last picture of the mountain of boxes we have yet to tackle.

It is very exciting to be in the new house, although I have to say that it has taken a little while for the feeling that it is our house to sink in.  I am looking forward to being able to put more things away and make it feel more like our home.