Focusing on the positive

I have been having a really hard time doing that lately.  I seem to have a doom and gloom kind of attitude that has moved in and doesn't want to leave.  We have had some pretty positive things happen to us in the last couple of weeks, including finding a house we want to buy.  While I feel excited and hopeful about these positive things, I feel a lot of fear and dread that things are just going to turn out badly and be disappointing or too hard to handle.  It is like I can't allow myself to feel happy about something because things have been so sad for so long.  I really dislike this new way that I view life and situations but know that it is a way to protect myself because of what happened with my daughters.  I am in a much better place than I was a couple of months ago, however, this negative, unhealthy mindset has stuck around.

In response to this I am going to list some positive things that are going on right now:
- My husband and I are in the process of buying a really great house
- We are heading up to Missouri in two weeks for a vacation
- I have family and friends that love and support me no matter what
- I am making fish tacos with mango salsa tonight for dinner
- I have a great doctor who has helped me come up with a plan for the future
- I have two cats who really brighten my days
- I have had the time to work on projects and structure the days the way I would like

One of my goals is to use this blog as a place to honestly share my thoughts and feelings and then consciously focus on positive things, with the goal of changing how I view life.