And we are finished

With nursing, that is.  I have such mixed feelings about this.  Goodbye mastitis, goodbye clogged ducts, goodbye biting, goodbye midnight feedings, goodbye being tied to a chair and boppy pillow.  Those things I will not miss.  I will miss the sweet individual time I had with my daughters.  I will miss the close feeling I had when I nursed them.  I feel like this is just one more step in a long line of things that will lead to their independence.  While that is really wonderful, and one of the goals of being a parent, it also makes me a little sad to see this phase end.  Sometimes all I want is my mother.  I hope that I can raise women that are able to be independent, but also want to continue to have a close relationship with their family, like my mother has raised me. 

Feeling Loved and Supported from Far Away

I received a package from my mother today that I know was her way of putting love and hugs and good thoughts and prayers into something I can hold.  When I opened I cried and cried, because I truly felt the love that she had pack with it, which was just what I needed to not feel quite so scared about tomorrow.  What she sent was a plaque, or board, that she had painted in 1987 when I was four years old.  We always had it in the kitchen and I have read it time and time again.  It has little encouragements and sayings on it that have always made me feel better, and also I feel really embody how my mom chose to parent me.  Some of them include "I like you just the way you are" "You can trust your feelings to help you know" "You have every right to be here" "You're welcome to come home again" Your needs are ok" "You don't have to hurry."

Thank you mom, for loving me so completely, all the time, without question or concern.  Thank you for raising me in a purposeful and thoughtful manner.  Thankful for being here for me in just the right way, even though you are far away.  My prayer is that I can look to your example to be the very best mother I can to be my own children, and I know that you are an incredible grandmother to all of my children.

I was going to include a picture, but right now I feel like holding on to this just for myself.  I will include one in the future when I feel like it is appropriate.